Reflection

I have to say that after we ring in 2010, I hope to quickly forget 2009! This year has been one of the roughest years imaginable! I have had two miscarriages, Hunter has had his "issues", as well as our having some financial problems. It is starting to look like things are getting better though! Hunter is starting the treatments that he needs to excel in life, I have an amazing new Doctor that has run tons of tests in hopes of finding a cause for our losses as well as a treatment, and Dave is hopefully getting a promotion to Branch Manager at work that will not only help financially (I have quit my part-time job because of Hunter's therapy schedule) but will also provide us with a company truck! I am so proud of him! So I am really optomistic that 2010 is going to be a great year!

Anyone who has had a loss probably know how much the phrase "it was meant to be" really irritates you. Well, last night I found myself thinking that very thing! Our first angel- Baby September- was due September 14th, and our second angel- Baby March- was due March 4th. I was thinking how hard it would be to be dealing with Hunter's tests and therapy while at the same time having a newborn or being very pregnant, and I actually felt a little relieved that things have worked out the way they have. Don't get me wrong, I would move Heaven and Earth to have my babies back, but maybe this was all part of some larger plan! My little boy is the center of our attention and as such we are totally devoted to his treatments! Again, not that we wouldn't be focused on his therapy in any of the other possible situations, but we have more opportunity with how everything has worked out. So, I am going to show up to "baby bootcamp" Monday morning with pencil and paper and take notes and work as hard as possible to get every thing I can from Hunter's sessions, not waste my opportunity to help Hunter as much as possible, because the rest will fall into place when it is meant to be.

I am at peace with my life, where I have been, and where I am headed! I hope you all stick around for the ride, because I am sure it will be entertaining!